For a few weeks now I have been thinking about this week’s post. Although I had the concept and the ideas pretty well thought out, I realized that I wasn’t ready to put that out there. My last two posts were pretty emotionally charged; first dealing with the chaos of after surgery, and more recently with sharing my birth story. I figured I would keep it pretty easy with this post (that is what #SelfCare looks like for me this week).
My son turning two has caused me to reflect a lot. I went through a lot of pictures and videos and I see how much he has grown. I can even take a step back and realize all the ways in which I have grown—not only as a mom, or a wife, but as an individual.
From that vantage point, I can also see the ways in which I can improve. To be completely honest, I have LOTS of growing to do. But, I have come a long way.
These reflections even caused me to look back at some of my earlier posts and I landed on my #BirthdayGoals. I set some goals for this year, and as usual, after a few months, I forgot about them—or at least I should say that I forgot that I set them. While looking over what I had written, I noticed that I have begun to make some changes, but, still have some things to work on. So, let’s consider this, my public check-in/accountability moment.
You can see my original post and descriptions here
1. Make Space
Physically → I have gotten rid of a few things, particularly clothes—and have acquired a few items as well. However, plans are to do a larger overhaul in the Fall (unfortunately, living in a place where there are 5 very distinct seasons requires a bigger wardrobe –yes I said 5, there is what people consider winter, and the crazy negative temperatures that follow requiring a different type of clothing😊).
Emotionally → I haven’t had to maneuver any friendships, people have actually helped me categorize themselves, which has been good. Knowing what I want out of the types of relationships I have has been key. Creating safe spaces for my feelings, emotions and personality is really important –and understanding that not every “friend” can be that “safe space”. Sometimes I’ve learned this the hard way. It sucks, it hurts, but I’m coming along.
2. Be Present
If we’re being transparent, I haven’t been that great here. I have lots of room to improve. I still try to multitask a lot, and do not provide my undivided attention to people at times. However, I’ve made a major effort to increase family time, most recently, that included an impromptu trip to go strawberry-picking (which I had never done before—I’ve picked strawberries in my parents’ garden growing up, but it wasn’t a strawberry patch). I also try to include some intentional play with my toddler, whether that’s at a playgroup or at home. He loves playing independently, I am amazed, but am also terrified, at how quickly he learns through imitation. So, more of that to come.
3. Be Healthy
I’ve made some concrete changes here, at least in terms of physical activity. I’ve been doing lots more walking, and trips to the park (especially now that it is summer). I’ve started doing boxing sessions at a gym, where there is a trainer making sure I make the most of my 30 minutes. I have also been catching up on some medical appointments, slowly, but surely. My sleeping is still off, but I have had solid streaks. I’ve just added a to-do list app to my phone so that I can be more organized on the go—which will hopefully allow me to clear my mind at night. I’ve learned a few new skills, and I try to take some time each day to decompress. I do a weekly check-in with my husband on our “wins for the week” (work & personal), and it has been such a great thing for me—it causes reflection and it allows us to share something positive with each other (win-win).
4. Stop Comparing
I think humans will always compare themselves with others, but I have noticed that I care about the comparisons just slightly less now than I did a few months ago. People’s lives, especially on social media, are so curated—that I cannot (or should not) compare their highlights to my real life. It just isn’t fair to me.
I believe I am also becoming more confident in the decisions that we have made as parents and the ones that I have made as an individual.
I won’t lie, I do get shaken every now and again—like when I get asked when I plan to go back to work, or what I have been doing at home with my son (ex:/ are you taking classes/ consulting/starting a new business, etc..?--as if what I am doing is not enough). However, the more I accept who and what I am and what works best for my family, the less this bothers me. I am very hard on myself, but I have to remember to also be kind to myself.
Well, there you have it folks, the progress on my Birthday Goals. I did say they would take more than a year to get in order, right?. Please continue to hold me accountable. Let me know how your goals/resolutions are going for this year!
"You steadily grow into becoming your best as you choose to be accountable and accept responsibility for improvement." ― Steve Shallenberger
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